


Growing Pains

by Ava_now



Series: Barisi Dads AU [13]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Anal Fingering, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Smut, Kid Fic, M/M, Oral Sex, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:06:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24829552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ava_now/pseuds/Ava_now
Summary: “I want Papi.”  Marley’s little eyes watered as she looked from the bedroom door to Sonny and back again.  “I sorry, Papi!” she called loudly, tears choking her voice.  “Te amo mucho, Papi! Lo siento mucho!  Te amo, mi dulce papi!” (I love you very much, Papi! I’m very sorry!  I love you, my sweet Papi!).  Sonny made his way to her and picked her up, and she rested her face in his shoulder as she sobbed quietly.When four-year old Marley's rule-pushing triggers Rafael's painful memories of his own childhood, Sonny comforts his husband and assures him he's loved for who he is.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Series: Barisi Dads AU [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1541101
Comments: 13
Kudos: 65





	Growing Pains

**Author's Note:**

> TW: for past child abuse.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this fic. It's a bit of a challenge for poor Rafael, trying to fight the impulse to react the way his dad did. Even though he knows he won't allow himself to, he struggles with guilt in having the impulse at all. Parenting is hard as fuck, y'all. If you're a parent, God bless you. Hardest job on the planet, and also the most worthwhile.
> 
> Anyway, I SO appreciate the comments and kudos! They seriously make my day and keep me thinking about more for these three. Happy reading!

Marley dumped another shovel of sand on top of the pile she had and stood up. “Ta-dah!” she exclaimed. “See, Daddy? I’m makin’ a big, BIG castle for my princesa!”

“I see, dolly. Remember, we have to leave in a few minutes. It’ll be time to get dinner ready. Plus Pru is getting tired of waiting.” He glanced downward at the little pug, who was lying at his feet and panting lightly.

“Uh-oh, Daddy!” Marley was pointing down the path, where her ball was rolling. “It wolled away from me!”

Sonny hopped up, leaving the dog where she was. “It’s okay. I’ll get it. You wait right here.” A quick jog a few feet away and he had the ball, tossing it to himself as he made his way back to the sandbox.

In that few seconds, Marlene had taken Pru off her leash. “Pru!” she squealed loudly, “tome get me, Pru baby! Tome get your wittle Marley Mae!” Pru jumped up, paws hitting Marley’s rear, and the little girl laughed loudly.

Sonny berated himself for looking away, even for a second. The last time he’d done that, she’d fallen off the side of the slide and broken her arm. “Marlene, Pru needs to keep her leash on so that she’s safe at the park. Come here, Pru!” he said, catching the dog by her collar, “Let’s get your leash on.” Once he had it fastened, he stood again. “Okay, silly girl, it’s time to go home.” Sonny held out a hand to his daughter.

“No, Daddy! I don’t wanna go home yet! I wanna play with Pru!”

Sonny took Marlene’s hand in his. “I understand you don’t want to leave yet, dolly, but it’s time. We need to get dinner started so it will be ready when Papi gets home. I know you’re ready to see Papi, right?”

“Nooooo…” she whined, walking as slowly as she could. Generally, Marley was easy to get along with and fairly laid back, but lately, she’d been doing what Sonny’s mom called “stretching her wings”. She’d been telling them “no” more often and refusing to cooperate just to see what would happen.

“Marlene,” he said, feigning calm, “Daddy’s legs don’t go that slow. You’re gonna have to move faster. Come on, honey.”

He tried to get her to move faster, but she continued to drag her feet and whine. “Okay, enough,” he finally said, stopping and scooping the little girl up onto his hip so he could walk unencumbered.

“Wait--hey! Put me down, Daddy! I don’t wanna be carried! I’m not no baby!” Marley pushed against her father’s chest, but he held on and continued to speed walk toward the apartment. “Put me down, you Daddy! I say NO! No means no, you mean Daddy man!” Seeing her words weren’t having any effect, she yelled, “I’m gonna tell my papi on you, you bad Daddy!”

They were just outside of their building, and Sonny stopped and looked at his daughter. Her face was sweaty and red from the heat, and her hair was coming out of its braids. Her eyes were squinted at him in anger and her nose was scrunched up on her face, reminding him strangely of Pru. “You be my guest, Marlene Elizabeth. You tell your papi exactly how I carried you home because you did not listen to my words. I wonder what he’s going to say about THAT!”

“HMM!” she huffed as he opened the door and headed toward the elevator. “Well I don’t wike you very much wight now, Daddy. No, I do not wike you much at all!”

Entering the apartment, he put her down. “You need to go to your room for a little while,” he told her, and she exaggeratedly stomped down the hall.

“Fine, mean Daddy-man!” she yelled. “An’ I still don’t wike you!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled under his breath, “right now, it’s mutual.” He went into the kitchen and started to pull things out for dinner to distract himself from the thought that kept coming back to him--if his baby is like this now, he could hardly wait to see her in ten years.

***

Rafael was frowning. 

He had thought he’d put all of his notes for the Cortez trial in the same file, the one he was flipping through right now. He’d intended to review it this weekend, anticipating the trial to start mid-week and wanting to be ready. But now he was missing a page of yellow legal pad that he’d used to jot down several questions.

“Hi Papi.” Marley stood in front of him as he sat on the couch. Sonny had gone to Staten Island for the day to help his parents assemble a new bed, so it was just him and Marlene for the day. He had laid her down for a nap just a few minutes ago. “Whatcha doin’?”

“Hi mija. I’m looking for my yellow work paper. Have you seen it?” She shook her head no, and he raised an eyebrow at her. “Aren’t you supposed to be taking a nap?”

She shrugged. “I not tired. Tan we go to the park? I wanna go swing.”

“Not right now,” he told her. “Right now it’s nap time, but after nap time, we might be able to go for a little while. Okay?”

She shook her little head. “No, Papi. NOT otay. I wanna go now!”

Rafael exhaled heavily, trying to let go of his frustration. This never used to happen. “Marlene, right now it’s naptime. You need to go lay in your bed. You can look at books if you’re not tired, but you do need to go lay down.”

She stood still and crossed her arms.

“Now, Marlene.” He crossed his own.

“Pah-piii,” she whined, dropping her arms and leaning on his knee, “tan you just wead me some stories then?”

“No,” he answered her, feeling far more cranky than he knew he should. “You can go lay down now and go to the park in a little while, or you can continue to stand here and whine and not go to the park at all.”

“That’s not fair, Papi!” she cried. “I don’t wanna take a nap! I not tired!”

He stood up and walked up behind her. “Come on, let’s go,” he said, and at her lack of movement, caught her under the arms and guided her forward. 

“I don’t wike you, Papi! You’re bein’ mean to your princesa! That’s not good! I’m gonna tell Daddy on you!”

Rafael bit his tongue to keep from laughing at that one. He knew she’d pulled the same thing in reverse with Sonny the other day, coming back from the park. “Okay, mija. That’s fine with me.” They entered her room and he let go of her arms. “Also, while you’re telling Daddy things, will you tell him I love him? I want him to know that too.”

She stomped her feet up and down. “No I will NOT, you Papi poophead! You tell him yourself!”

“Okay,” Rafael said, “I will. Take your nap, please.” He closed the door, and she screamed.

Rafael leaned against her doorway, waiting to see if his mini-Houdini tried to escape, but nobody pulled on the handle. He had to admit, this kind of stuff was tiring. He was forty-five now, older than the average father of a four-year old, and sometimes he worried that if Marley was this clever at four, what would they be facing at fourteen? He tried desperately not to think of the teenage girls he ran into in his line of work. He’d love to believe that a good family was insulation from a bad future, but he knew better. How many girls did he see each year who came from good homes and ended up beaten, raped, trafficked? He shook his head, trying to get the images out.

He was still in the hallway, thinking to himself, when he realized Marlene had been quiet for several minutes. He suddenly felt a bit of pride, thinking that she’d managed to calm herself down. Good for her, he thought, and opened the door to praise her. “Hey princesa,” he started, but stopped almost immediately.

She was lying in the middle of her floor, asleep.

He shook his head and headed back to the couch.

***

Sonny was drying Marlene off from her bath when he heard his husband swear.

Rafael didn’t swear a lot, especially when Marlene was around. She had a habit of picking up all kinds of unsavory words when she was a toddler, so they both had decided not to tempt fate, and they tried to refrain from cursing when she could hear. But Sonny heard that one, loud and clear, as well as the followup:

“Goddamn motherfucking shit!”

He stuck his head out of the bathroom to see what was going on.

Rafael was tearing their couch apart, reaching in between cushions and around the back. It was already pulled out from where it usually was, and as he bent on his knees to try to look under, Sonny winced for him. He knew how bad Rafael’s knees were. Knowing this was not the ideal time, but feeling empathy drive him anyway, he called, “You missing something, babe?” He glanced back at Marley, who was tugging on her Wonder Woman underwear.

“Yes!” came the irritated cry from partway under the couch. Sonny now found himself looking directly at his husband’s ass. Normally, he’d be thrilled to have this kind of view, especially since Rafael was in his favorite jeans. But if he’d ever seen an angry ass, this was it.

“What’s missing?” he called. “Anything I can help with?” He helped Marley pull her nightgown over her head. She squeezed in front of him, sticking her wet head out the door.

“What’s Papi doin’, Daddy?” she asked, looking from her papi’s ass to her daddy’s face.

“He’s looking for something. Here, hand me your jeans. I’m gonna fold ‘em up.” She handed him the jeans and he made his way to the couch. “Tell me how I can help,” he said, now that he was closer. Rafael sat up, face flushed, and pushed his hair back.

“My notes,” he said, “for the Cortez trial this week. I swear they were here. It had two hours’ worth of questions on it, stuff I really needed.” He huffed. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do without it. Be up all night, I guess, rewriting.”

Sonny reached over and stroked his hair gently. “It’s got to be here somewhere. Let me finish with her and then I’ll look--a new set of eyes, you know?”

Rafael nodded. “Okay. Thank you.” Seeing Sonny’s posture suddenly freeze, he asked, “What? What is it?”

Slowly, his husband pulled a piece of paper out of their daughter’s back pocket. Yellow legal pad, with Rafael’s tiny script all over it. They both looked at each other, then Sonny handed the paper back to his wide-eyed, red-faced husband.

“Sorry Papi.” Marley’s little voice came from across the room. She was holding her knuffle bunny and twisting its ear. “I finded it and forgetted to give it back to you.”

Rafael folded the paper up in his hands very slowly, then tucked it into the file. “I’m going back to our bedroom and I’m closing the door,” he said calmly and quietly. “Please do not disturb me until you’re coming to bed, Sonny. I would really appreciate that one favor right now.”

He stood up, taking his file under his arm, and walked toward the master bedroom. “Papi?” Marley said, and he stopped walking. “Hey Papi, I said sorry. Are you mad?”

Rafael turned around slowly, bending down to Marlene’s eye level. Sonny felt his stomach clench in anxiety, knowing the home Rafael grew up in, knowing his history. But he had to trust him. He had to believe in his husband.

“Yes, Marlene,” Rafael said quietly. “I am very angry right now. I need to take a time out so I can talk about this with you tomorrow. I’m too mad to talk right now. Daddy will put you to bed tonight. I love you. Goodnight, mija.” With that, he placed a delicate kiss on the top of her head and then continued to his bedroom. It was silent until he shut the door.

“I want Papi.” Marley’s little eyes watered as she looked from the bedroom door to Sonny and back again. “I sorry, Papi!” she called loudly, tears choking her voice. “Te amo mucho, Papi! Lo siento mucho! Te amo, mi dulce papi!” (I love you very much, Papi! I’m very sorry! I love you, my sweet Papi!). Sonny made his way to her and picked her up, and she rested her face in his shoulder as she sobbed quietly.

Once he had her in bed, he sat next to her. She was still sniffling. “Daddy,” she asked, “will you tell Papi that I wove him and I’m very, very, very sorry?”

Sonny stroked her hair off of her forehead. “I will, dolly, but I think you can tell him tomorrow. He loves you and will be ready to talk tomorrow.”

She hiccupped. “Is he still gonna wove me tomorrow?”

“Of course he is, baby. But you understand what you did was wrong? That paper was very important for Papi’s work. He couldn’t do his job the right way without that paper. And you remember how important Papi’s work is, right?”

She nodded. “He helps people who gotted hurt. And he makes sure there are consuh-kensis for people who hurt other people.”

Sonny smiled at her. “That’s right. So we have to make sure we don’t touch his papers, right?”

She nodded, and he leaned down and kissed her forehead gently. “Papi and I love you to the moon and back, sweet Marlene. We will always, always love you, baby, no matter what.” He stood up. “Goodnight, baby.”

“Night, Daddy.” He watched her roll over, snuggling her bunny, and twisting a finger in her hair as she closed her eyes.

***

He didn’t know how long he’d been lying in bed, but Sonny wasn’t there yet, so maybe it was still early. He’d been thinking about his own father and the time he took the baseball. He was pretty sure he remembered crying over the memory, and now he remembered opening his eyes, so he must have been sleeping. It couldn’t be that late, could it? Sonny would have come in at bedtime, around eleven. What if Sonny decided he’d overreacted, he thought suddenly. What if Sonny thought Marley wasn’t safe around him--that he’d lost it over something as minor as a few notes on a case? Sonny knew about the scars, every last one of them. What if he thought Rafael was capable of repeating that with their own child? What if Sonny took Marlene and left?

Frantically, he pushed the cover back so he could more easily see the clock. It read 10:54, and he caught his breath. Sonny usually came to bed around eleven, so he should be in here soon. How could Rafael explain this to him? What kind of grown man acts that way over a few notes, for God’s sake?

He could still smell the alcohol on Miguel’s breath, see the fury in his face just inches from his own as he beat him repeatedly with the belt. “Eso tan ensenara pequeno idiota,” (that’ll teach you, little idiot) he had snarled upon realizing his prize baseball had been used by his eight-year old son. “Te lo mereces. No toques lo que no es tuyo!” (You deserve it. Don’t touch what isn’t yours!) He felt the tears making their way down his cheeks again, and tried to wipe them away, but more took their places, and eventually he gave up.

Sonny opened and closed the bedroom door, locking it behind him, and sat on the bed next to Rafael. Reaching over, he wiped his husband’s face with a tissue. “Wanna talk about it?”

Rafael sniffled and shook his head. “When I was eight, I took his baseball. He’d gotten it at his first game after immigrating here, and Yogi Berra had signed it. I don’t know why I took it to play with. It was cool and I wanted to show off to my friends, I guess. You can imagine how well that went over.” He sniffled again, and Sonny rested a hand on his hip. “He beat the shit out of me, Sonny. With his belt. Called me an idiot. Told me I deserved it.” He laughed emptily. “I guess part of me always thought I did. You know that joke about being spanked so hard you can’t sit down for a week? It’s not really a joke with a father like mine.” He wiped at his face roughly. “When you pulled that paper out of her back pocket, all I felt for a second was rage. I asked her earlier if she’d seen it and she said no. And she knows how important my work papers are--we’ve told her over and over again not to touch them. And I’d been searching for hours, thinking I’d lost my mind.” He shook his head. “And she’s four years old. That’s what I suddenly thought... _ Rafi, she’s four years old. _ And my rage was not appropriate for the situation.”

Sonny sighed. “I can understand you being angry, honey. You worked hard and she took it and lied to you. Plus, she’s been such a--” He paused, trying to think of the right word.

“Challenge?” Rafael suggested, raising his eyebrows.

“Hmm...I was thinking more along the lines of ‘little shit’,” Sonny replied, winking at his husband. “Like you said, she’s four. And she’s going through some bratty four year old stage. I don’t believe she’ll be like this forever, and neither do you. But it’s hard sometimes to get perspective when she’s being so damn unlikeable.”

Rafael chuckled softly, then closed his eyes. “Sonny, for a split second I had the impulse to hit her. To spank her. To let the Miguel in me take over. That’s what scared me into hiding back here...that I had that thought, that impulse.” He started to cry again, harder this time. “I’m so ashamed that I could think of hitting my own child out of anger. I felt so ashamed that I couldn’t be around you two. It made me question if I should really be a father.”

“Baby,” Sonny soothed, stroking Rafael’s side, “you may always have that impulse because of what happened to you. But you’ve never acted on it. You’ve never been abusive or even mean. I know how much you love Marlene and I know how aware you are, and how hard you’ve worked to insure you NEVER touch her in anger. She is absolutely lucky to have you as a father. And I don’t think there are any fathers out there, at least not good ones, who don’t occasionally question what they’re doing, or occasionally have an impulse to do something reactive to the situation. You’re setting your expectations of yourself pretty damn high.”

Rafael pressed his palms to his eyes for a minute, trying to quell the tears. “Maybe,” he finally admitted. “I just don’t ever want to harm her in any way, you know?” He paused. “I have a scar from that beating. It’s the longer one at the top of the left side of my ass. I was purple for days.”

Sonny began to fiddle with Rafael’s belt, unfastening it. “Here, let’s take this off. I want to see exactly where.”

“You’ve already seen,” Rafael told him, but moved cooperatively anyway, helping Sonny to get him out of his clothes. “You’ve seen them all.” He rolled over onto his stomach, and a moment later he felt Sonny’s warm hands on his skin, tracing the delicate line.

“Did Lucia know he did this?” Sonny asked, continuing to stroke his husband’s skin.

“I can’t remember, exactly,” he said, and Sonny was used to that. Rafael had a very spotty memory about a lot of his abuse, particularly when it came to his mother. Sonny was fairly certain it was trauma-related. “Eventually, yes, I think so. But she wasn’t there when it happened...or not in the room, anyway.”

“Hermoso,” Sonny said quietly, leaning down to kiss his husband’s scar, “you’re beautiful. Nothing your father did could ever make you anything else.” He gently began to kiss the area around the scar, stroking Rafael’s ass. “I love you, Rafi. Can I show you how much?” His fingers moved lightly across the skin until they were teasing his crack.

He felt Rafael begin to shake, and realized he was crying again. “I don’t deserve you,” Rafael murmured into the pillow. “Sometimes I don’t think I deserve anything good at all.”

Sonny kissed his husband’s soft skin again. “That’s your father speaking. You, babe? You deserve everything good in this world.” His fingers ran up and down Rafael’s crack gently. “Can I, Rafi? Can I make you feel good? Will you let me?”

“Si, soleado,” Rafael murmured, and spread his legs apart farther for his husband.

“Good, baby...so good,” Sonny praised softly as he reached for the lube in the dresser drawer, then liberally coated two fingers. Dribbling more onto Rafael, he took his coated fingers and began to massage the lube around Rafael’s rim until he heard his husband sigh softly, relaxing under his touch. He slid one finger inside slowly, circling, until he heard what he was waiting for. 

“More, Sonny...please,” Rafael begged quietly, and Sonny added a second finger, then began to kiss and suck the tender flesh around his fingers. Slowly, his mouth worked down to Rafael’s perineum, then his balls, taking one in his mouth at a time, swirling it around and sucking. His fingers continued to pump in and out, and Rafael moaned, low. 

Sonny pulled his fingers out and sat up. “Roll over, gorgeous,” he murmured, and Rafael did, laying on his back, exposing his chest, stomach, and cock to his husband. “So fuckin’ hot,” Sonny said, running the tip of a finger over one nipple and watching Rafael shiver under his touch. “Hermoso.”

He took a long moment to gaze at his husband, the man he’d committed to love for a lifetime, and he felt his breath catch. The man was beautiful, indeed, from head to toe--no scar could ever change that. He reached out and stroked a thick thigh, admiring the calves that connected, then sliding his hand up to the hip, massaging. Rafael was such an intriguing, sensual mix of soft and hard everywhere, both in his body and his personality, that Sonny knew he would always come back for more. No matter what, he would always love this man, he thought, and his hand wandered over the dark chest hair, tugging and tweaking the nipples as he went along. Rafael’s arms were now resting above his head, and his eyes were sleepily gazing at Sonny’s every movement. Smiling at Rafael, he leaned down and flicked a nipple with his tongue, then sucked, before licking his way to Rafael’s navel. He circled it, then nipped the soft skin next to it before sucking hard. “Sonny,” Rafael moaned, dragging his fingers through Sonny’s hair. Sonny let go again, then circled Rafael’s navel once more with his finger, before dragging it slowly through the thin thatch of hair, down to the base of Rafael’s cock. 

Rafael’s cock was thick and heavy against his thigh, flushed red and leaking pearly precum from the tip. “So beautiful,” Sonny murmured again, wrapping his hand around the shaft and licking the slit. At Rafael’s groan, he said, “Don’t worry, handsome...I’m going to take care of you. You deserve the world.” He circled the head with his tongue, then sucked hard. “Fuck my mouth, baby. I want you to feel good.” He kissed down the shaft to the base, then tongued the balls, before dragging his tongue back up the shaft and sucking him down.

Rafael settled his hands into Sonny’s hair, combing through gently as Sonny seemed to adjust himself, then started to move back and forth on him. Rafael clutched his husband’s hair, letting Sonny guide them initially, back and forth on his shaft, until the pleasure started seeping into his body. Hesitantly, he tugged Sonny’s head up, then thrust upward, chasing his mouth. Sonny relaxed his throat as much as he could, feeling Rafael’s tip pushing in. Then he sucked hard, until Rafael moaned, and then he relaxed. Rafael pulled back slightly, then thrust forward multiple times quickly and Sonny sucked nonstop; a minute later, Rafael thrust deep and Sonny swallowed him down as deeply as he could again, the tip of him slipping into his throat again. Sonny sucked hard, burying his nose into Rafael’s curls. Rafael felt the vibration of his husband humming, tickling the head of his cock, and he opened his eyes. Sonny was watching him, mouth full of dick, nose pressed against him, eyes watering, and the sight was so erotic Rafael almost came right then. “Sonny,” he gasped, tugging the man’s hair back until he let Rafael’s tip slide out of his mouth, “Jesus, Sonny...I’m gonna choke you.”

Sonny chuckled sexily. “Gonna choke on your dick. Wanna choke on your dick, Rafi. Give it to me, baby. Make me choke on it. Cum in my throat. Gonna swallow your spunk. Gonna suck you dry, baby. Gimme all of that beautiful cock.” And he took it in, swallowing after each light thrust, until Rafael was deep in his throat and his eyes were watering again. His nose was buried in Rafael’s pubic hair again, and he swallowed and sucked as though he couldn’t get enough. He could hear Rafael’s voice, soft and low, praising him. “Fuck, Sonny...oh god, baby, please...I want you...I need you, baby, please...God, I’m gonna cum, honey, it’s so good...please, Sonny…” Holding Rafael’s hips firmly, he sucked and swallowed rhythmically again, one last time, and he felt his husband thrust upward and cry out in pleasure, just as the semen made its way down his throating, coating it, into his belly.

Rafael’s body was slightly shaking, but his hands were slowly stroking Sonny’s hair. Sonny let Rafael’s cock slip from his mouth, then swiped a hand across it before kissing the thigh underneath him. “I love you, baby,” he murmured. “I could just stay like this forever.” He rested his head on Rafael’s thigh and wrapped a hand around his own cock, giving it a few slow strokes.

“Come here, beautiful,” Rafael’s voice was gruff but relaxed. “I’ll suck you off.”

Sonny chuckled, then kissed his thigh again. “That’s okay,” he said. “This one was for you.”

“Are you sure, querido?” Rafael’s fingers made their way from Sonny’s hair to his mouth. Sonny caught them and kissed each one.

“I’m sure, baby.” He eased his way up to share the pillow with his husband. “I love you. I hope you know that.”

Rafael kissed him back gently. “After such an enthusiastic demonstration, how could I not?”

***

“Tan I get the pantakes?” Marley asked, squirming around in the chair opposite from Rafael’s. He looked up at the waitress, smiling, and she nodded. “And I’ll take the spinach omelet,” he said, then closed his menu and handed it to her.

“Be back soon!” she told them, then smiled and walked away.

“I wike my hot cocoa, Papi!” Marley took a sip from the giant mug in front of her. He’d let her get the whipped cream on top, too, quite likely out of guilt, and now she had a face full. He smiled and wiped her mouth quickly. “Thanks, Papi. You should get this sometime! It’s very good! You want some?”

“No thank you, mija,” he said, patting her little hand. “But I would like for us to talk about last night.”

“How I taked your paper and put it in my pocket?” she asked. Then, “I was weally sad when you goed to your woom all night. I missed you.”

“I was very sad about it too,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee. “First, I was angry, because you lied to me. You told me you didn’t know where my paper was and that wasn’t true. You knew you had taken it, and you knew it was in your pocket. And then I felt very sad, because it hurt my feelings that I couldn’t trust you.”

“Lo siento, Papi,” she said, eyes wide and solemn. (I’m sorry, Papi.)

“Mija, do you want Papi to believe your words and to trust you? Do you want Papi to know you’re a big girl telling the truth?”

She nodded, bottom lip jutting out just slightly, as though she were carefully weighing the options. “Yes, ‘tause I am not no baby and I want my papi to wemember I’m such a big girl. An’ I tan do big girl stuff now, wight Papi? Wike, wike I ordered my own pantakes! ‘Tause I’m big and you trusted me!”

He nodded. “If I’m going to treat you like the big girl you are, I have to know you’re going to tell me the truth, princesa. Even if you’re worried about it. Were you worried to tell me the truth last night, to tell me where the paper was?”

She shook her head. “No, I wasn’t worried. I just forgetted I put it in my pocket an’ then Daddy finded it and I thinked, ‘oh, that’s where that is!’”

He furrowed his brow. “When did you take it?” he asked, still puzzled.

“After lunch,” she told him. “I wanted to wead it at naptime. But then I weaded it and I getted bored so I getted up and asked you if we tan go swing, ‘member?”

“Ah,” he said slowly. “It all makes sense now.” He shook his head and smiled.

The waitress arrived with their food and set it down in front of them. “Thank you!” Marlene said as she sat flat in her seat.

“You’re welcome!” the waitress answered with a smile. “I bet you’re just the sweetest thing, aren’t you?”

Marley tilted her head. “Sometimes I tan be,” she answered, “but sometimes I don’t wanna follow my papi’s and my daddy’s wules, and so then I get some consuh-kenses to help me learn ‘tause I’m little now but I’m growin’ and one day I’m gonna be a lady so I gotta know the wight ways to do things. Wight, Papi?”

Rafael had his hands clasped in front of his mouth in a praying position, concealing the amusement in his expression. “Yes. That’s exactly right,” he said, spreading his napkin in his lap. Looking at the server’s wide-eyed expression, he said, “I think we’re good here, thanks!” 

Still recovering, the waitress nodded at him, glancing back at Marlene briefly. “I’ll be back to check on you soon!”

“Bye!” Marley called to her, then tore a piece of her pancake off. She began nibbling as Rafael leaned forward to cut her food. “How was that, Papi?” she asked. At his confused expression, she added, “I telled the truth, didn’t I? That sometimes I don’t follow wules? Are you proud of your princesa?”

He sat back in his seat and grinned. “Si princesa,” he said, chuckling. “Papi esta orgulloso de su princesa. Siempre.” (Papi is proud of his princess. Always.) Seeing her beam back at him, he dug into his omelet. Maybe ten years from now wouldn’t be that bad after all.


End file.
